Kristen Stewart is a house

My day today consisted of my job interview at Vector's and Twilight.

For all those that were wondering (that means you, Curtis), I got the job. EXCEPT (don't you hate "excepts" or "buts") that when I called my mother after I left, she became very skeptical about it. I tried convincing her about the job and the prospects and blah blah blah while walking to the Bayview bus stop still wearing my black pants on (I had shorts in my bag but the washroom needed a key and I had just walked out so I didn't want to walk back in) but she would have none of it. Once I got to the bus stop I waited for the bus. And waited. And waited. My mom took the opportunity to call me and proclaim that she had found a website that wrote an article about Vector being a scam for college kids. Then she told me that she was going to pick me up and make me read the article at her office and then she was going to drop me off at home.

In short, I was pissed off. I like this picture. I don't know why.

And what really annoyed me was that the scam article made me realize that maybe, just maybe, it was a scam. The office was pretty small and "sketchy"-looking. But I liked the presentation. Maybe I just like knives because I have this secret dream of being a chef. ...although it's not a secret anymore. WHATEVER.

So I'm still jobless. And I have done absolutely nothing except for watch Twilight (I finally got through it!).

Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad after the first half. The first half was too awkward. I mean the entire first half was awkward. The characters were awkward, and that awkwardness made the movie so LONG. I'm sorry, but a 2 hour-long movie for a pale human girl to fall in love with a guy who looked like he was about to barf from the sight of her (yeah Edward, even Bella noticed when she sniffed her hair)?

Dr. Carlisle looks like an owl to me. Just wanted to point that out.

I also hated the set. I hated the clouds, the palette of GRAY in the entire movie. The only warming parts were the Cullens' house and the lights on the patio circle thing during their prom. The new director for New Moon better change that.

Oh, and no offense Kristen Stewart, but every time you open your mouth to utter a word of incomprehensibility or to sigh or to do something that requires you to open your mouth  (yes, even talking), you look like a frog. Or a...any type of animal that always has its mouth open. Maybe a horse. I don't know. I don't like your acting, and I don't like that you're not

her. Yes, Emily Browning. Back when all the girls were screaming about the rumour that Twilight was going to be made into a movie and I still had somewhat of a respect for the book, I read somewhere in Stephenie Meyer's forums that Emily Browning was one of the candidates to possibly play Bella Swan. And let me tell you, I wish it was Emily Browning. She's way more attractive. Now, Bella may not be beautiful, but that doesn't mean she's not attractive. Emily Browning is pretty. Kristen Stewart sort of reminds me of a horse, come to think of it.

Or maybe a mouse-horse. A morse? A house? Kristen Stewart is a house. I like the sound of that.

And those noises she made when she was poisoned with James' venom. I wanted so desperately for Edward to save her too, so that I could be spared from the sound of horrible in-pain acting.  It sounded like she was choking on bread while snorting at the same time.

Wait 'til you guys read what I'm going to say about New Moon. Here's a sneak peek: "When I get a boyfriend I'm going to be so dedicated to him that when he leaves I'll crawl into a fetal position in the middle of the woods with no logical sense at all and end up almost getting killed by vampires I just love him so much." And that was JUST from watching the horrible trailer.

Oh, one last thing. The part where Edward Cullen shows Bella why he can't be seen in the daylight? I thought he had silver chest hair.