everything that's wrong

These two weeks will be one of the few times I will (have?) consciously be(en?) looking for a distraction. Okay, that sentence has way too many grammatical errors.

On second thought, I've decided to write this blog entry in a list form because I don't know how to cleverly link my paragraphs together.

1. I'm looking for a distraction otherwise I'll think too much like I am right now
2. I miss you but you don't even care and you don't read my blog anyway so writing this is stupid
3. I'm sick of the word "busy"
4. I'm tired of people saying they're busy
5. I wish time could stop so people could stop being busy. I know everyone wants that too.
6. I have stomach cramps from the medication I'm taking I think
7. I get headaches from the medication I'm taking
8. I'm scared
9. I'm upset
10. I feel like everything positive is just...gone. And all the negative things are flying at me at once.

I woke up from a nap today. I didn't want to wake up, I wanted to go back to sleep. I didn't want to ever wake up. I felt very depressed, and I didn't know why.

My roommate told me to watch Lost because it has lots of episodes so I won't run out of any episodes and then I'll always have a distraction. Don't tell anyone this, but I love her. :)

I'm also homesick. I've never said it any of my blogs because I've never been homesick at McGill until now.

I even miss your hugs, Yoyo. Your sucky hugs. Don't argue with me, you know it's true.